[ you are my sunshine; my only sunshine . )

Sitting in my bedroom,
Not knowing what to do,
So, I decided to write down all my feelings,
And make it a poem- from me to you.

'Cause when I'm with you,
I never feel any pain,
All I have to do is see your smile,
And then I'm happy again.

I don't see you every day,
But that's the way it's gotta be.
Just knowing you are there
Is good enough for me.

I will hug you when you're ill,
I will hug you when you've cried,
I will help you through the hardest times,
Without even a sigh.

You're always on my mind,
No matter what I do,
Wherever I go,
Whatever I see...
It always leads back to you.

I hope you will enjoy
the new beginning of our journey
I know it sounds cheesy,
But I will always and truly love you.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Love indeed makes one blind and dumb. This eventually leads to emotional distortion and I wish I could go into a recluse but I can't. See how blind I am..

1) 8 months ago, ditch me for another guy. So what was my response? W-a-i-t. I could NOT contact her at all, she was happily with another guy. But I still w-a-i-t-e-d like an idiot.

2) 8 months later, she finally msg me. I wasnt exactly happy cos I was numb already and had alot of doubts abt her.

Examples of her sms-es:

- When I recount our sweet memories we have together, I felt so dumb & silly for losing you. I'm not going to ask you back when I know I'm not good enough for you.

- If you think that this few months I'm not suffering then you're wrong. I did the greatest mistake for wanting to give up. But you still feel insecure about me. If we don't change, same thing might happen again. You never know it's your turn to hurt me.

- I eventually know that you're the one for me. But it's not important, just move on without me. It might be better.

- I'm able to commit now but don't know with who. I only have you in my mind.

- How do you I've not changed? Do you think I need to bounce back to you? I just feel that something could have been done to make us feel better.

- I need someone by my side but I'm not sure whether it's you at times. There's only you in my heart.

As we exchanged sms-es, I kept telling her that she has been in my heart all this while. If I wasn't serious about her, I would have given up long ago. I was keen in waiting for her to get over her past and I need time to feel secure. BUT if she chooses to keep her options open, doesnt this put me in the situation I was in 8 months ago? Talk so much about wanting me back, empty words. Past weeks I been in a real dilemma whether to give up. God helped me make up my mind when I bumped into her with another guy at Suntec. 2nd time I saw her with him.

Bottom line is, I'm moving on WITHOUT her. My heart is using brute force to let her go. It hurts hell alot and this is gonna be an arduous journey. Hope to see light at the other side of the tunnel soon.

oh-so-bright.