Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A week+ has passed since I left my job and I been suffering from serious sleeping disorder since then. For 2 months+ I worked night shift, 11pm - 9am and I would only go to sleep around 3pm before having to get ready for work again. Same routine went on for that 2 months. My body clock is totally screwed up. Despite being VERY exhausted, I can end up sleeping for ONE hour only or 3 hours maximum. The feeling is tormenting when you're feeling totally worned out, you toss left and right on the bed, close your eyes forcefully, counting sheeps blah blah but you still won't fall asleep. It's even more worse when you finally end up asleep but wakes up an hour later and have to go through the same routine of trying to get yourself to sleep again. The longest time I stayed awake was 36 hours. Somebooody heeeelp meee~~~
I'm upset over having to quit my job but looking on the brighter side, I get to do things I've longed wanted to do...
1) Dota almost every night, playing till 6am at times.
2) Met up with Nicholas, Jia En and Jaren for supper. It's been a VERY long time since I met Jia En. She is one rare priceless piece of gem or should I say the only one of it's kind I know. There's a saying, "True friends are hard to come by." Jia En falls into that category and I'm willing to do anything or lose anything just to help you if you need it. I give you and Jaren my blessings, my judgement seldom fails me and I believe Jaren is a good catch.
3) Frequent arcade(my 2nd home)
I'm also able to spend more time with my family, other frens and still hoping to meet a few more before my enlistment.
Ok now for my random burst of different unhappiness...
1) It's been a LONG TIME since that saddening incident. Stop giving me excuses will you? You think I believe your so called reasons? I'm not a 1 year old kid, I'm already entering NS! I'm not a 20 year old with a 1 year old mindset either. Blah, I'm sick of having to ask you again and again but end up with same result. If you doubt my sincere or motives, why would I even bother to ask you time and again? I don't believe your reasons! I can only conclude that you've yet to forgive me. This assumption is making me fill up with GUILT.
2) The more I read your blog the more du lan I get. I accepted your reason for that incident but your actions following that are NOT ACCEPTABLE at all. Your actions totally went against the reason you gave me. WTF? I don't even know why am I so affected by this. I feel betrayed, cheated, conned, deceived...argh, all means the same thing! I mentioned earlier my judgement seldom fails me. This is one of the rare occassions where it seems to have. I'm fighting hard to maintain that same judgement I had of you. Grrrrrrrrrrr......
oh-so-bright.
