Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Series of unhappy events has been happening to me. I get moody either becos of what ppl say or the things that goes through my head. Since this is the fasting month, I gotta be very patient. I can't lose my cool, I can't swear, I can't provoke ppl, harm others etc... I'm not having any problems abstraining from food and water. But I'm having alot of problems with
who is going through my mind. The warfare between the cognitive part of me and my heart has been ongoing for months. I don't know which is the angel and which is the devil. Which one should I follow?
Cognitive: The ship has already sunk. There's no point going underwater and try to rebuild the same ship from there. Swim back to shore and build a new ship, which also means with a new someone. In short,
let go and move on. Why bother clinging on to a ship which has already broken into pieces? A ship which wasn't meant to stay afloat and sail smoothly. Forget about this ship. Widen your horizons, get to know more people and get onboard a new ship.
Heart: Nobody can replace that special gal who is in here. You still love her deeply but you're unable to forget what happened in the past. You've already forgiven her for what she did. But the aftermath damage of what she has done is too drastic. I'm(heart) is still badly wounded and bleeding profusely. I need time to heal and I'll be ready again.
There you go! Cognitive VS Heart. Pure struggle.....
@ Deenise: I had a great time talking to you that time. It was my first time talking to you like that, lol. I was very uncomfortable you know? ^_^
@ Nick & Jia En: Sorry guys for not talking much to you lately. I've even hang up on you guys a couple of times in the midst of the conversation. I'm the type of person where if I'm moody, I'll be quiet. Anything that comes out of my mouth might be lethal. You guys always have so much fun talking to each other so I had to make myself disappear. =)
@ Bryan: It's really unfortunate of you to go through a similar event as me. You're in fact in a more worse situation than me. I can't understand you completely but I definitely understand you the most. For quite some time, you've been on the surface of the sea. Now you're sinking below it, trying to swim your way back up. Don't push yourself too hard, the harder you push....the faster your body wears out and before you reach the surface, you'll be sinking again. Take your time, don't be afraid of drowning cos I'll be your oxygen tank while you're under water. You might or may not become a changed person now. People may dislike you more than before or like you more than ever. You judge for yourself. But whatever happens, I understand what you're going through. *Cheers*
oh-so-bright.
