[ you are my sunshine; my only sunshine . )

Sitting in my bedroom,
Not knowing what to do,
So, I decided to write down all my feelings,
And make it a poem- from me to you.

'Cause when I'm with you,
I never feel any pain,
All I have to do is see your smile,
And then I'm happy again.

I don't see you every day,
But that's the way it's gotta be.
Just knowing you are there
Is good enough for me.

I will hug you when you're ill,
I will hug you when you've cried,
I will help you through the hardest times,
Without even a sigh.

You're always on my mind,
No matter what I do,
Wherever I go,
Whatever I see...
It always leads back to you.

I hope you will enjoy
the new beginning of our journey
I know it sounds cheesy,
But I will always and truly love you.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Got up at 8am this morning for my morning jog at the stadium. Arranged to meet Kenneth at 9.15am but in the end that guy didn't turn up. So I went jogging by myself. During my warm-up, I felt pain around my ankle area. I thought it would go off once I start to jog but hell no! The pain got worse.....I told myself to endure. After 7 rounds around the stadium, I had to stop. The pain was killing me. I couldn't even walk properly, was limping. I sat down and gave it a massage and omg, the pain was unbearable! I think my legs still havent fully recharged after the training on Wednesday. I had to do a 6 x 800m using 2.4km pace. I felt pretty lonely at the stadium. I was thinking of who to have my brunch with. But hey guess what? Bryan called me and he said he was right outside the stadium and he wants to have lunch with me. Isn't this a blessing?

Bryan & Me

Got back around 1pm I think. Used comp, bath, eat......then slept all the way till 7pm. Terrible headache now, I think I slept for too long.

I don't know whether you read my blog or not, I doubt you do. But it doesn't matter cos this is where I'm just gonna write my thoughts/feelings abt everything.

Monday, July 03, 2006

WHY?!?!?!?! Why do I keep dreaming of you? 6 out of 7 times in a week, you would appear in my dreams. Half of them are dreams, the other half nightmares. Dreams would be when you and me are together. Nightmares would be when you and me are NOT together. Most of the time I have nightmares of you being with another guy. All this dreams are killing me.

I'm so scared of many things now. I'm so scared of bumping into you outside. Each time my phone vibrates, I have this fear that you sent me an sms. And the sms would write, "Hey, just for your info....I've already got a new boyfriend now." ARGH!!!!!

Thoughts of ending this life is a norm. Waiting for the time when I'll have the courage to do so. I can't accept my life the way it is. I can't accept the fact that we're not together. I can't accept the fact that I failed to quit smoking. Sigh...

Loving you always,

Ridhwan

(R & T 1314)

oh-so-bright.